No Regrets
by Fleur27
Summary: Picks up where episode 3.9 left off. If you’re not into spoilers, you should wait to read this. Tim tries to be a good friend.


**Warning: **Picks up where episode 3.9 left off. If you're not into spoilers, you should wait to read this.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing here and am only doing this for fun.

**Notes: **I've been working on this all week. I wanted to get it done before tomorrow's episode, since it will probably cover the same ground in some fashion. I don't think it's quite what I'd hoped it would be. Sometimes, it seems like the words in my head aren't the words that come out on the page.

* * *

"It'll be okay," Tim repeated with more confidence than he actually felt. He was glad that Becky couldn't see his face, that he had a few minutes to pull himself together. He could feel her tears on his neck and wished, more than anything, that he could make everything okay. But he understood how these things worked. Once it happened, nothing was ever the same.

Becky pulled back and Tim let his arms fall to his sides. She looked down and sheepishly wiped away her tears.

"Well, look, now you know what's going on and I'll try not to be too weird or awkward around you, all right? Good," she said in a voice that reminded him of Tyra, the way she would act extra-tough whenever she was hurt.

"Do you want to talk about?"

"God no. Go back to whatever it was you were doing in there, drinking or whatever," she said as she turned and walked back to the house.

Tim pulled the trailer door shut and followed her into the house. She sat down on a chair in the living room, so he sat on the couch, stretching out his legs but not quite feeling at home enough to put his feet on the coffee table.

"Where's your mom?"

Becky shrugged. "Who knows. She didn't come home last night. Probably met some guy or something. You know how it is."

Tim nodded and looked away, not quite sure how to respond to that. He picked up the remote and turned on the television, flipping through until he found the Cartoon Network. He turned the volume low enough so they could talk, if Becky wanted to.

He stole a glance at her. She'd pulled her long legs up into the chair and wrapped her arms around them. She was looking at the television, but he doubted she was actually seeing it.

Which was fine, since it looked like a ridiculous show, with some grey monster that wore an apron and whose whole vocabulary consisted of a single word: radda. But sometimes mindless was good, so Tim leaned back and just waited.

"It's so stupid," Becky said finally.

"I know, but there's nothing else on and it's kinda funny, in a way."

"No, not that. Me. What I did. It was only once and it was stupid and a mistake, but I never thought it would end up like this."

Tim looked over and watched her pull a curl straight, then let it snap back into place. He wanted to ask questions, but he kept his mouth shut.

"And, I mean, I thought I knew what I wanted to do. Like, I did the research and everything, found out how much an abortion would cost, what I'd have to do. I have a fake ID, so all I needed was the money."

"I can help you, you know. You could pay me back or whatever, but if that's the problem."

"No, that's not the problem. I thought I could come up with half, so it only seemed fair that the guy come up with the other half. And he seemed cool with it, but then..." Her voice trailed off and she looked up, trying to blink away tears. She pressed her index finger under her eye, like it was a button that could turn off the tears.

"Is he giving you a hard time? Because I could talk to him."

Becky laughed, but it sounded more like a choked sob. "No, he's not giving me a hard time. He's being completely understanding. We took a drive to talk about it though, make the plans, and then he got all weird."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know. Weird like he thought an abortion would be wrong. That I'd regret it. That he'd regret it. That the thought of making the baby just go away made him really uncomfortable."

"Well, that's easy for him to say."

"Yeah, I know, right? But there was something about the way he said it that just...upended all my plans or something. I thought he'd be relieved, that he'd hand over the money and just get out of my way. I mean, most guys would _run_ out of the way."

Becky looked away and Tim followed her gaze over to the bookcase full of trophies and ribbons from beauty pageants.

"God, if I had the baby and gave it up for adoption, I wouldn't be able to compete for Miss Texas. Good-bye scholarships, good-bye college," Becky's voice trailed off, but she was sniffling. She heaved herself out of the chair with a sigh and left the room, returning with a box of Kleenex.

"I could get a bulk discount, all the tissue I've gone through this week," she said with a feeble smile.

Tim waited for her to continue talking, but she seemed to be done for the moment. The couch was comfortable, the room was overly warm and he thought if he closed his eyes, he might actually fall asleep.

He looked over at Becky, who was shredding a tissue into long, thin strips. She looked up and caught his eye.

"I know I'm like a mess right now but seriously, I have to ask. Because I've heard all the stories. Everyone has. You don't exactly have a reputation for being picky, so what's wrong with me? Why aren't you interested in me?"

Tim sighed and raked his hand through his hair. He had conversational whiplash and now he'd been dropped in the middle of a minefield.

"It's not like that. Not like there's anything wrong with you. Look, we're friends, right? Can you just believe me when I tell you that I'm way better at being a friend than being a boyfriend?"

"I have a hard time believing that. Is it because you slept with my mom? Because you're still in love with Lyla? Because you think I'm just some dumb, annoying kid?"

"It's because right now, I just can't. Not with you, not with anyone. I need to figure some stuff out and I need to do that on my own."

Becky nodded slowly, then pulled her sweater down her arms. The bulky sweater was already too big and now she looked like she was trying to disappear inside of it. She picked a book off of the coffee table and idly turned the pages. Tim turned his attention back to the television, but he somehow knew the conversation wasn't quite over.

The cartoon finished and a new cartoon started, something about a kid with a magic wristwatch. Tim found his attention slipping, so he picked up the remote control and flipped through the channels slowly.

"....what do you think I should do?"

Tim looked over at Becky and waited until she looked back at him. "Get rid of it."

"Get rid of it? Just like that?"

"Yes....you know, right guy, right time, right place, you're going to be a great mom. But this isn't it."

"But you don't think it's wrong? That it's like killing a baby?"

Tim took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I think it's more wrong to have a kid that you don't want and aren't able to take care of."

Becky nodded slowly, the tears welling up again. "Why does it seem so hard to make a decision?"

"I had a friend who used to help me study in high school and he always said that for multiple choice tests, you should always go with your first instinct. It's when you start to think about things that you get yourself in trouble."

"But it's a test, aren't you supposed to be thinking?"

"I guess what he was saying is that if you know the answer when you're first asked the question, don't go doubting yourself. The first answer is the right one."

"It's just.....what if I regret it?"

"Becks, if you're going to have to regret something, it's better to regret not having a baby than to regret having one."

"But you're Tim Riggins, I thought you don't do regrets."

Tim smiled. "Ordinarily, I don't. But if I had to regret something, that would be it."

Becky stood up. "I'm really tired and think I'm going to go back to sleep. I'm not kicking you out - you can stay and watch.....whatever the hell this for as long as you want."

"No, I should be going anyway." He got up from the couch, walked over to Becky and gave her a quick hug. "You need anything - a ride somewhere, anything at all, you come to me, okay?"

She nodded and stepped aside to let him pass. He went back to his trailer. He looked around and knew it wasn't much, but at least life was simple for him.

* * *

When football practice was over, Tim cut across the field and intercepted Luke on his way to the clubhouse.

"Fours. Nice job out there today," said Tim, giving Luke a thump on the shoulder pads.

Luke stopped and a proud grin spread across his face. "Thanks."

"You put up some impressive numbers at the last game. The college scouts come around yet?" Tim asked casually, turning a well-worn football over in his hands.

"Yeah. I've heard from A&M and TMU."

"Nice. That must feel good."

"It does. It's the whole reason I do this - to get a scholarship and get out of here. That's the plan."

"That's the plan, huh?" asked Tim.

"Yeah, it is." Luke's helmet dangled from his hand, the chin strap swinging in the breeze. He made to start walking back to the locker room.

"Hey, uh, you talk to Becky lately?"

Luke looked caught and uncomfortable as he fumbled for words. Tim held up his hand and shook his head.

"Look, Fours, two things. One - She doesn't know I'm talking to you and she _never_ will. Clear?"

Luke nodded.

"Two - you're going to do the right thing. Give her the money and stop putting doubts in her head."

"But-"

"No way. You don't get to make this any harder for her than it already is."

"But it's my baby too."

"Yeah? So are you going to raise the baby while she goes off to college?"

"That's not fair."

"Sure it is. You can't ask her to do something that you wouldn't do yourself."

"It's not that simple. She has other options, you know," said Luke, his voice dropping as he leaned in to make his point.

"No, she doesn't. She's got one shot of getting out of here, just like you. Just give her the money and get out of her way. Please."

Luke gazed out over the field, his lips pressed together into a thin line. The afternoon was quiet, the silence punctuated only by distant shouts of kids in the playground of the nearby elementary school. Finally, he sighed and raised his hands in a placating gesture.

"All right, all right. I got it."

"I hope you do, Fours. Because you're a good kid. I like you and I don't want to have to hurt you."

Luke looked up in disbelief, but Tim's face left no room for doubt. He was promising, not threatening. Luke shook his head and walked away.

* * *

Tim lay on the bed in his trailer, looking at the collection of beer bottles that was close to spilling out of the plastic recycling box. He really should switch to cans, since they were cheaper and could be crushed so they took up less space.

But he really liked bottles, so as long as he could afford them, that's what he'd get. Maybe getting another recycling bin was an option. A sharp knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Tim?" asked Becky.

He leaned over, twisted the handle on the door, and gave it a nudge. Becky pulled the door open and looked in hesitantly.

"What's up?"

"I have a 2pm appointment, in Midland in two days, do you think you could give me a ride?"

"No problem. You're all set with everything?"

"Yeah. The guy called me and is going to give me the money in school tomorrow. He's... well, not happy about it, but I think he gets it now."

"Good."

"Okay, great, the plans are made. I'm sure I'll see you before then," she said as she stepped back and started to shut the door. She stopped and pulled it back open.

"Tim? Thank you... for your advice and the ride and everything."

"No worries. It's just part of being a friend."

"Yeah, you are pretty good at that," she said with a smile as she shut the trailer door.


End file.
